Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
