In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This toilet bowl is my home.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
