Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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