Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
