i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm just crazy horny about you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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