I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
