yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
