O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
