when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
