What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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