i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he fucked my hip out of place.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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