Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
