You're completely useless in the revolution.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
