Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
