Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
