Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
