Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
