Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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