i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
