I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
