I look better un-naked...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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