the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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