I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
