guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
