id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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