the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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