Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
