Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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