Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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