yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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