watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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