I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
do nipples grow back?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
