as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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