And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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