I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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