He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
