Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
