Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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