i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
