Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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