we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Randomize
