WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Vodka?
Forever.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
