Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
