you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
