Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
