I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
