quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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