If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
