You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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