Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
