would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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